On August 26, 1920, Secretary of State Bainbridge Colby signed the proclamation granting American women the constitutional right to vote. What we often forget is the sacrifice women made to earn that right. These brave women endured beatings and torture, and likely things we don’t even know about. I honor them. In fact, today the entire nation honors them, although there are many people who don’t even know that.
Today is National Women’s Equality Day.
As I sit here thinking about it, I honestly have mixed emotions. Why? Because we just aren’t there yet. The vote did not bring equality.
Yes, we can vote and we have made strides in what we can (legally) do, be, or have. (As a side note, a friend of mine in her 70s told me when she was in her 30s and wanted to start establishing her own credit, her ONLY option was to beg for a department store credit card. The only way she could get it was for her father to co-sign. She couldn’t buy a house or car on her own at all —she had to have a husband or father do it. Forming her own business? Nope. A man had to get the loan. That is not my experience, and for that, I am so very grateful.)
I admire the women who tore down those barriers, and more. They are smart, strong, resourceful, and amazing (hmmm…like most women I know).
The problem is, my generation came along and decided we were there. The work was done.
But you know what? As long as we collectively do things like:
call women who speak up (or speak their minds) b!tches,
judge each other for not doing things exactly the way we would ourselves…
…we are not there.
As long as we refuse to figure out our OWN dreams and aspirations and choose to live unfulfilling lives, we are not there.
As long as we use our precious vote to allow admitted sexual predators to hold public office, we are not there. (It BOGGLES my mind that women endorse such horrific behavior.)
The good news is, in the last few years, many of us have woken up and realized all of this. The energy among women working together and lifting each other up is amazing. It fills my heart. I’m excited for the changes that are coming. I’m excited about seeing true equality in my life and knowing that my stepdaughter and my niece have brighter futures because of it.
Thank you to all the women (and men) who have never stopped working toward a better future for all of us. Thank you to the women (and men) who have joined the movement. Thank you to everyone who makes this world beautiful and safe for all. Happy Women’s Equality Day.
PS: this is about as political as I will ever get, but women’s equality is an issue about which I have very strong beliefs.
PPS: That’s my niece Maya with me at the Women’s March on Washington. She was so excited that day. Her generation is going to change our world.
Finding happiness within yourself, that is the dream for so many of us. In fact, finding true happiness in life is the ultimate goal. So why is it so hard? What is happiness? Only you can answer that question.
We get messages every day about what we’re supposed to want—a specific job, a specific car, a new purse, and perfect family. I always found those messages confusing because I didn’t want those things, or at least not the way I was told I should want them.
I also noticed that those messages were never about finding happiness within yourself.
Want to know how to get your happiness back? Chronic Happiness Success Secrets is the first step. Just click this picture to register today.
We’re all unique. I, personally, am an introvert. So to me happiness is NOT about going to parties and dancing all night long. I’m extremely happy sitting quietly on my patio with a dog in my lap.
Like I said, confusing. I have never seen a commercial about being happy where happiness is my version of it.
Finding happiness within yourself
You can find your own version of happiness, and the place to start is in Chronic Happiness Success Secrets, a course I designed for people, especially women, who have lost touch with their passions and purpose. Those who know there is something more to this life, but they can’t figure out how to find happiness again.
If that sounds like you, here is my trick for finding true happiness in daily life: do the simple daily rituals in this course. The secret to a wildly, chronically, happy life is that you actually control it.
Yes, you have control.
But you can’t wing it. That doesn’t work.
The system I teach in this course does. It’s simple once you start, and you will be amazed at that finding happiness within yourself is easy as 1, 2, 3.
This course is divided into three sections
Section 1: Values and Impact
Chronic happiness is about being true to who you are and what you stand for in this life.
In this section, you will define your values and create a personal impact statement (you’ll be amazed at how much fun it is… and that alone will increase your joy)
You’ll gain clarity on what kind of person you want to be and how you would like to serve others—the impact you want to have on this world (don’t worry—you don’t have to have a HUGE, global impact… it just has to be true to who you are). Once you figure this out, it will become your daily guide to measure if you are living a purposeful life in alignment with your values—and thus a life of intentional joy.
Why? When you are not living in alignment with your values and desired impact, you will be unhappy. It’s easy to get sidetracked if you have never written it down and you don’t refer back to it over and over again.
Once you have created your personal impact statement, use it as your private roadmap to gutsy happiness.
By the way, you can always refine it as you learn and evolve.
Section 2: Daily Rituals for Joy
Section 2 is the core of taking control of your life and finding your happiness. Every single successful person who is making a mark on the world has some sort of daily morning practice—I guarantee it. This is because how you start your day completely affects how the day unfolds. You get to control that!
There are many ways to develop a daily morning practice, and ultimately you will decide which of the rituals work best for you in your life. In this course, I present 8 different practices that, when done alone or together, have the power to radically transform your life (note: if you just had a heart attack at seeing EIGHT, know that you do not need to do ALL of them EVERY day. You’re going to experiment with them and choose the ones that work best for you and your journey.)
In each video, I will tell you why that particular ritual is included and how to do it.
Section 3: Protecting the Space
You’ve spent some time setting up rituals that WILL bring joy to your life. Now you have to protect them. Trust me, people will try to get you off your routine… and if you aren’t careful, you will help them.
Setting firm boundaries is one of the hardest things my clients do, and one of the most important. In this section, we’re going to look at your own boundaries and how to strengthen them.
This is the final piece to setting up the foundation for chronic happiness.
Part of finding happiness within yourself includes protecting the space you have created. You deserve it.
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I speak and work with many amazing women — they’re smart, talented, and curious. They also feel that they are all wrong the way they are. Self-acceptance can be a bitch.
This is a feeling that hits home with me. In fact, working on it has been my biggest transformational journey.
I grew up in a home with an alcoholic mother who could not accept me for the person I was. There are many deep reasons for this, but I think the primary one is that I was a carbon copy of my grandmother, who suffered from extreme depression. I think my mother feared that was my path. That’s a guess. My mother passed away before we ever got to a place where we could have that conversation.
The reason I share that is because every day of my life, until I was about 22, in some way she told me I was wrong: I was fat, I wore the wrong clothes, I had the wrong hair, my voice was too soft (or loud, high pitched, or low pitched — she really hated my voice!). I was lazy, I was sloppy… it goes on and on.
That vision of myself stayed with me for a very long time (50 years to be exact). In fact, it still triggers me when someone comments on my appearance or voice, or any of those things. (I’m working on self-acceptance, but that stuff takes time!)
Self-Acceptance is an Inside Job
Honestly, I still don’t get much affirmation that I’m just fine the way I am. Why? Because I march to my own beat. I don’t fit in. I’m a little bit quirky, and even I don’t get my sense of humor half the time,😂.
I share this because I think there are many, many women out there who experience the same thing.
Not fitting in is rough.
Or looking like you fit in when you know in your heart you know you don’t really.
It’s tough to live your happiest life possible when messages that you are fundamentally wrong bombard you every minute of every day.
So this is for every woman who feels like she is less than whatever she is supposed to be: You F-ing rock. You are so flipping cool I can barely handle it. You deserve all the good things that come your way. You are perfect exactly as you are.
Please don’t change. The world needs women like you.
Make yourself happy. Do what you want to do. And if those around you at work or home judge you for it, reach out for some support. There are a ton of us and together we are strong. If you want to work on your self-acceptance and would love some relentless support, join The Gutsy Happiness Project Facebook group… we’d be THRILLED to tell you exactly how much you rock.
I should lose weight. I should wake up earlier. I should pay my credit card bill.
Let me ask you a question: have you EVER felt good about doing something you should do?
Should is an energy zapper. It is a low-vibe, low-frequency word that does nothing to lift you up or put you in a positive frame of mind. It is really just another word for guilt or failure.
I hear the word should a lot. Heck, I use it sometimes (always before some action I am not at all interested in taking). Yet I know it’s just another word for guilt, so I recoil a bit when I hear it.
Lately, I’ve been paying attention to the word should, and how I feel when I say it or think it. I realized that few things can kill my buzz faster than the word should. It sucks any joy out of what I’m doing.
I’ve decided to use words for happy feelings because I want to live a high-vibe life — and that starts with high-vibe language and feelings.
Reframing the shoulds of life is actually very easy. It’s a simple matter of reframing the conversation. Instead of thinking I should do something, I realize I get to do those things.
I get to go to the gym and exercise my body so it stays strong.
I get to eat healthy foods that nourish me.
I get to pay bills for the necessities that make my life enjoyable (like power and water).
I get to wake up early every morning to meditate and write.
I’m tingling from the energy of those statements! I can’t wait to do ALL of them.
What about you? What shoulds in your life would bring you joy if you just reframed the thought and used more words for happy feelings?